Paradise is Lost Without You
by Jade Keeper
Summary: There is blood everywhere. Dark shapes lay motionless. Unsure of what has happened or why, he holds onto the one thing that gives him happiness. His paradise in so much darkness and hate. But it is slipping fast and he isn't sure how much longer he can hold onto it. Not with all the voices inside his head and not with that laughing. Why is there laughing?


**Hey everyone. This is a one shot of Inuyasha to the song by Evanescence 'Lost In Paradise'. It just came to me when I was listening to the song. Sorry it is a bit long but if you could read and review that would be amazing. So here is Paradise Is Lost Without You. Enjoy!**

 **I do not own Inuyasha or Lost In Paradise by Evanescence.**

Paradise Is Lost Without You

Chapter 1

 _I've been believing in something so distant_

 _As if I was human_

 _And I've been denying_

 _This feeling of hopelessness in me, in me_

The rain poured on me as I kneeled frozen in place staring at the crimson stained grass and at the figure lying before me. My face paled as I came to my senses and not controlled by my demon blood anymore. My eyes turning back to their original amber colour instead of their light blue. The purple slashes on my cheeks slowly fading away.

But I barely registered this, as soon as my mind cleared of the madness that told me to seek more blood, to spill more blood and stain everything in its dark colour. But as my demon blood was suppressed once again and my mind began to clear, I finally was able to see what I have done and feel the horrible pain of the actions.

I was finally able to see the devastation around me at what had transpired. But even as I looked, there were only faded out, black figures. No detail or depth to speak of. But leaving many questions as I was beginning to be tempted to get up and look around. My muscles even tensing as they prepared to shift and move. But the figure in front of me put those temptations to a halt. I couldn't just walk away. Not yet.

 _All the promises I've made_

 _Just to let you down_

 _You believed in me but I broke it_

I picked up the figure that lay before me and held it in my arms, wiping away a strand of dark hair from the blank face that would never show emotion again. Would never smile at me in the way that made my heart melt and sing with love every time I saw it on her face.

My chest began to ache as my fingers brushed the soft skin of her still ruby red cheek. Feeling their way through her hair and across her overhead as I tried unsuccessfully to make myself believe that she was only sleeping and that she would wake up any minute now. Any minute. But obviously that wasn't happening.

I promised her…I promised her that I wouldn't let anything hurt her…that I would protect her and keep her safe. But I failed her because I was the one who hurt her, I was the one that didn't keep her safe…didn't keep her alive.

"….Kagome…." I whispered as tears began to stream down my face.

 _I have nothing left_

 _And all I feel is this cruel…wanting_

 _We've been falling for all this time_

 _And now I'm lost in paradise_

I could barely contain my anger at having hurt her so bad, at killing her in cold blood and fear like I had. My rage began to rise but looking at her face that rage turned into sorrow. Powerful sorrow almost enough to knock the breathe out of my already panting lungs. My eyes stinging with unshed tears. The sensation still new to me as I had only felt it a handful of times.

I lowered my head so my bangs covered my eyes as the tears streamed down my face. My claws (still covered in drying blood) tightened gently around her right arm. Her scent still wafted around me on a light breeze. Filling my senses and making me remember all the times I had with her and all the times I wish could have told her just the way she made me feel and just how special she was to me.

I felt a stir in my arms and looked down; surprised to see Kagome's eyes open with a hint of fear still lacing their chocolate brown gaze. She struggled for a minute, fear completely taking her eyes and face. I almost dropped her but luckily her limp struggling brought me out of my shock and into a whole new emotion, the same one written all over Kagome's face.

 _As much as I'd like the past not to exist_

 _It still does_

 _And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here_

 _I'm just as scared as you_

"Kagome, please." I whispered hoping she would understand.

The fear still remained in her eyes and she weakly raised her arms against me and shutting her eyes once more as tears of her own rolling down her very pale cheeks as she tried to feebly protect herself. Her face a grimace of pain and sadness. She was trying to push away from me as best she could while realizing that she was far too weak to accomplish this and still trying her best to wriggle and squirm out of my hold.

"Please, Inuyasha…wake up. Please." Kagome whispered so low that only my sensitive hearing could pick it up.

"Kagome, it's me. I'm awake. Open your eyes, you'll see." I said almost as quietly.

Kagome opened her eyes and took in a startled gasp at seeing that it was truly I who held her and not my full demon. Not the demon that hurt her so badly and didn't care that it was costing Kagome her life but rather enjoyed the pain and anguish she was in. Not the cold heartless shell of a being that I turned into when I lost myself to that wicked side. But actually and truly me.

 _I have nothing_ _left_

 _And all I feel is this cruel…wanting_

 _We've been falling for all this time_

 _And now I'm lost in paradise_

Kagome threw her arms around me in a weak hug, a sad smile plastered on her face. I was so shocked that I couldn't hug back for a minute. How could she be happy to see the person that had caused her this much fear and this much pain? How could she still want to see me even after what I had done to her?

"I'm so glad you are awake now. I thought there was no hope, that you would be that mindless creature for all eternity. I'm so happy you could break free for even an instant." Kagome said still hugging me.

I pulled back from her to stare in question at her tear-streaked face. What did she mean 'break free'? I don't understand what she means. What did I break free from? But as I wondered this, my mind was searching the garbled memory from my other side. Searching through the haze of rage and joy at spilling all that beautiful blood that shimmered and sparkled in the dull light as it dripped and sprayed.

I could find nothing that suggested that I had been bound by anything. I couldn't see anything in those weird memories that suggested anyone else had a hand in what happened besides myself. What did she mean then?

 _Oh oh_

 _Runaway, runaway_

 _One day we won't feel this pain anymore_

 _Take it all away_

 _Shadows of you cause they won't let me go_

"You don't remember Kaguya…you don't…you don't remember." Kagome whispered

Kaguya? I looked around me for the first time since my demon blood had receded. I saw the whole area stained crimson and many motionless forms on the ground and when I looked closer, I recognized them. Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kirara and kneeling there was Kaguya, blood dripping from her cheek as she laughed.

It filled my ears and made rage bubble up in my chest as comprehension settled in. She was the one that started all of this. She was the one that made me kill all of my friends and the woman that I loved. She was the reason that the one thing I had that made me happy was slipping through my fingers. My happiness was slipping away and I would never be able to get it back.

 _I have nothing left_

 _And all I feel is this cruel…wanting_

 _We've been falling for all this time_

 _And now I'm lost in paradise_

As she laughed she whispered words I couldn't identify, but my body pulsed with the unknown spell she was weaving and forcing my demon blood to surface and surpass my human blood.

I quickly looked at Kagome with fear in my eyes that were already turning red around the edges.

"Kagome." I said voice unsure

She looked at me as best she could; she was getting weaker and didn't have much time left. I held her close while fighting the demon blood so I could stay like me for just a little longer. I wanted to stay the half demon she liked if this was to be her last moment. I didn't want her to see the demon raging behind the surface. I didn't want her to see that again.

"Inuyasha, she has you. There is nothing that can be done unless…" she said weakly.

Her hand glowed but it wavered uncontrollably then it went out and her hand lowered. I looked to her face to see what happened but her face was blank and her eyes uncomprehending. She was dead and I couldn't save her from death. As much as I'd like to take her back from the claws of death that was already starting to leave her body cold, I couldn't. I just couldn't save her this time.

I lowered her softly to the ground and gave into my demon blood, anything to stop the pain of losing Kagome. Anything to forget what I had done to my friends, anything to simply not feel this horrible pain that was beginning to spread across my chest and engulf my heart.

At least if I gave in, I could be forever lost in the memory of Kagome. The only paradise I had ever known and will ever know until I can die and truly be in paradise with her and have her arms wrapped around me…but until then, I was alone. Lost and alone in the paradise of my thoughts with her.

 _Alone and lost in paradise._

 **And that is that. So what did you think? Not one of my best stories but hopefully it wasn't terrible. If you could please leave a review, that would be amazing. Good or bad it will definitely help with my writing.**

 **So, until next time!**

 **~Jade Keeper**


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